This is the seventh, and final, on my series of articles which draw upon the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. You can read my previous articles about Habit 1, Habit 2, Habit 3, Habit 4, Habit 5 and Habit 6.
Whilst walking in the forest, you come across a man cutting down a tree with a saw. He looks exhausted.
“How long have you been cutting down this tree” You ask. “You look like you’re about to collapse”.
“About 5 hours!” The man replies.
“Why don’t you take a break to sharpen your saw” You query.
“I don’t have time to sharpen the saw” the man responds, indignant. “I’m cutting down a tree”.
Renewal
A version of the story above leads the chapter on Habit 7. Sharpening the saw, as the story illustrates, is about prioritising well-being and renewal, even within a busy life.
How many times have you found yourself, like the man in the story, avoiding rest and self-care because you’re too busy. It happens to me often, and I should know better: Rarely a day goes by that I don’t have a client who is mentally unwell, in part, because they are not prioritising some aspect of a healthy lifestyle.
Very often during the 1st or 2nd session, I write a list on the whiteboard with the title: Anti-Depressive Lifestyle. Then I itemise the lifestyle factors:
- Good Sleep
- Healthy eating’
- Regular Exercise
- Social connection
- Minimising alcohol and other addictive substances/behaviours
- Meaningful/achievement activities
- Pleasurable activities
Then I ask my client: “which of these are you doing well”. It’s uncommon that someone ticks every item.
Why, when we know they’re good for us, do we avoid these activities? Speaking for myself, I often feel that I have too many more urgent matters to sharpen the saw. But other times, it comes down to priorities: I just don’t know what to do first. So, what should I be working on to sharpen my saw?
Balance
Author, Stephen Covey, encourages the reader to sharpen the saw, though activities in four separate domains:
The Physical Domain. This involves healthy eating as well as engaging in physical exercise in 3 key ways: endurance (cardio), flexibility, and strength. Most people don’t need to be persuaded of the benefits of physical exercise, yet most still struggle to do it regularly. Covey (wisely) encourages us to make exercise a habit, to do it at the same time every (or nearly every) day. Rain, hail or shine.
Mental. Mental renewal comes from studying, or from even just reading. Reading books stretches us, broadens our mind. The 7-Habits book was written pre-internet: How much truer is it now that we need to work on our mind’s ability to focus and take in information through reading.
Social/Emotional. The social emotional renewal comes from our engagement with other people. But at its highest, it involves service to others. Most clients I work with are not getting some/any of their emotional needs adequately met. This is because emotional needs are met through our relationships with others. Often, we find it hard to get our emotional needs met because of lack of social skills. But usually, it’s because we have built up defensive habits due to years of being hurt and disappointed. Sharpening the emotion saw, means prioritising time to be vulnerable and open with other people.
Spiritual. The spiritual domain is your core, your commitment to your values. In my experience as a psychologist this is the one area that busy, burnt-out people prioritise the least. It is common for psychologists (include me) to prescribe meditation, and meditation practice can be effective method to slow down and reconnect to a deeper sense of self. Religious practices are also helpful for sharpening your spiritual saw.
The Upward Spiral
All of these changes, social, mental, physical and spiritual, sound overwhelming. The single biggest reason why people don’t strive for excellence, is that substantial change seems too big a job. Afterall, if we a struggling to sharpen the saw by exercising once a week, what chance to we have of making grander changes to our mental and spiritual lives?
The good news is that every small change counts. Every small positive action makes a future positive action more likely. In part, this is because small actions are how habits are formed. But also, because saw-sharpening exercises tend to synergise with each other.
For example, regular exercise boost concentration, which help reading/studying. Then reading exposes you to inspirational ideas and individuals, which motivate the desire to be better physically, spiritually and mentally.
This process is called by Covey as “the upward spiral”.
So don’t lose heart with making a tiny change today. Have faith in the upward spiral to lift you up to a balanced, healthy and successful life.