Thinking Traps V: Personalisation

It’s all my fault! “It’s all my fault” Rebecca lamented. Her son had recently been fired due to testing positive on a workplace drug screen. “I knew he was using; I should have done more to stop him!”   It is a good thing to take responsibility for your actions and their outcomes. When we take responsibility, we start to...[ read more ]

Social Isolation / Alienation Schema

“I carry my loneliness on my back, like a turtle”. Jia* had a great job in fashion and a loving boyfriend but was depressed and socially anxious. She had difficulties talking in groups of three or more people, she never felt natural, she came across as distant and aloof. “I suppose I’m just a social coward, never showing my real...[ read more ]

The Defectiveness Schema: Wishing you were someone else…

We are born small and weak. Baby ungulates walk within minutes of leaving the womb. And yet here we are weak and tender for years on end. We are not capable enough to care for ourselves and if we perceive and believe that we aren’t good enough to be independent, its because its true. It won’t be true forever, but...[ read more ]

Social (Media) Anxiety

A while ago I was trying to weasel out of a catch-up I’d planned with her friend. I was tired, had a lot on, and was worried that this meeting was the straw that would break the camel’s back. I had the urge to lie about another commitment, but I had been practicing acting with integrity and so decided –...[ read more ]

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